i can’t decide where to bathe this evening.
too many options!
(subtitle: “the one where the bathroom does not occur.” in fact, i’ll hardly mention the bathroom at all)
a few years ago i painted the landing outside our bedroom.
typically, the job was never really finished because the shelf didn’t want to go back on the crumbly walls, and with nowhere to stack overflow books (we have a system), we just stuffed things into the cupboard, crammed it into boxes, progressed to “tidy piles”… before it inevitably deteriorated into a general dumping area for everything.
if only there was some way of fixing that shelf to the wall
meanwhile, we’d booked the builders to come and sort out our bathroom.
much excitement! for the first time we were paying actual proper professionals to come and do an actual proper job – no personal faff or injuries or lengthy incovenience(s).
i knew i couldn’t keep up the sewing part of my life if i couldn’t potter about in Clean & wash my hands obsessively throughout the day, so i decided to shut down for the month BACK IN FEBRUARY.
and because, hey! that’d give me time out to sort all the crap on the landing and fix the shelf!
i might as well be thorough with the 40 years worth of “treasure” that needed sorting
i might as well paint the wooden cupboard as i’ve been wanting to do for years
i might as well fix the hairline cracks on the old plaster
i might as well give the walls a fresh coat of paint
while i’m at it.
1. stupid, annoying little things that can wrong… for eg, i’d done far too good a job on that damn cupboard the first time round – so smooth and glowing with wax, it wouldn’t take a coat of paint despite litres of thinners and all of the sanding.
careful application of masking tape to protect the precious carpet stripped lengths of new paintwork off when it did adhere.
the hinges no longer fitted when i reconstructed the thing.
let alone the doors.
2. being my own worst enemy… for eg, adding additional hurdles. oh hey, the shed’s a bit of a mess after 12 years of hoarding every building supply ever, let’s hire a skip and spend the entire weekend clearing it out so we can go inside of the door again.
oh hey, since i’m in painting mode anyway, shall we buy that chest of drawers for the bedroom that we’ve been talking about forever?
3. everything just being awkward… for eg, not having anywhere to work… apart from on the floor beside and/or at the foot of the bed, woodwork arranged on top of lengths of christmas wrapping paper so we could drag sticky wet painty things aside and step over the towers of stuff-from-on-the-landing crap just to get into bed at night.
meanwhile, additional surprise hurdles
“hi, your new front door is fiiiiiiinally ready to be fitted”
^ the “after” picture is the one on the right. the one where the door isn’t entirely held together by mould, daylight & gripfill. just in case you weren’t sure.
*chaotic frenzy of doing all the things at once* <– incidently, this is the moment i decided i ought to start blogging again :)
to summarise then; all i had intended to do this month was fit a shelf that was strong enough to store a few books and comics upon.
FURTHERMORE i was only doing that as a filler job while the builders were here constructing my new bathroom.
to be continued? *hopeful*
on a day by day (or hour by hour) basis, during regular normal life, my ‘mazing mood swings look like this
and for the most part, i enjoy the ride.
but when actual depression takes hold, i get stuck under the horizontal axis of the graph, thus:
everything and nothing conspire against me and i’m trapped, tap-tapping along the bottom there, still looking for a way back up but… exhaustion, apathy, irrational thoughts, agoraphobia…
i’ve been bouncing off the meh-line for the last couple of years which has been good
(like, who/whatever had been standing on me finally climbed off.
like, doing simple tasks didn’t take all day every day nor require every bit of willpower and stamina that i had.
like, having a rest from the crazy so i could just get on and do *something*)
and it was also useful, as most of 2014 was dedicated to end of life care for my beloved anakin collie.
anakin was my very best pal and constant companion during the last 15+ years, so to say 2014 was “hard” is an understatement. also, Husband ‘n i had put Eveything Else on hold, so 2014 was some kind of miserable limbo.
wait, it wasn’t like everything was shit! there was happy times and plentiful good things and so many extraordinary kindnesses – but it was haaaaaaard. and ever so limbo-y.
and after she died, everything was weird and different and peculiar for a long time
which was getting kinda boring and so very frustrating because
and i’m looking forward to feeling things, and getting on with all of the things, new & old, because
“ain’t no shame in holding on to grief, as long as you make room for other things too” – bubbles, off of the wire.
for a while there, i had to take myself off into internet-seclusion due to ongoing personal kerfuffles.
i find that just sitting in front of the telly, “not working”, is usually the best time for coming up with new ideas. and with no orders or other projects going on at the moment, i was able to keep playing and tinkering with these until they were just as my brain had described them to me.
(i’ve sneaky-pixelled out the easter things ^ just in case i get to them, and the valentines day pandas – which i was super happy with – are long gone. i never even blogged about them because there are only about 3 hours in the day at the moment)
romantical valentine’s pandas
the next stage when i’m making something new, is endless fails.
if i was sensible, i would just draw the detail onto fabric with biro while i work on shape & construction (thus saving all of the cutting, sticking & embroiderering hours).
but i’m 1. not sensible, and
2. unable to visualise things exactly until they are right there in my eyes & in my hands
after that stage, it’s back to the drawing board.
many, many times.
*whispering* at this stage i sometimes like to confer with my art-friends.
“is this rubbish? i think it’s funny and good but what if it’s rubbish? is it a crap idea? …and should i go with multi coloured bandages or keep it traditional?”
it’s good to have a small, trusted group that – for just 18p! – will give you honest feedback & suggestions before you unleash potential insanity onto the internet :)
kerfuffle circumstances allowing, i’ll be starting work on a small batch of these this afternoon so that they’re ready in time. of course, mummies are for life – not just for mother’s day.
**edit: there are still a couple available here
overall, 2013 was really rather good :)
usually it was a new project, a mountain of fabric, a sale, a comment, a message or email, some lovely feedback, (even surprise cards & gifts!) that all reminded me how fortunate i am to be doing what i do, and that without my awesome customers it wouldn’t be possible.
ok, well, no. i’d still be doing this without you :p
but all this stuff ^ would be hidden under the bed in the spare room and i’d just be some crazy lady who watches supernatural in her pyjamas all day whilst tinkering with a sewing machine.
so thankYOU for that moment – at Husband’s work do for eg – where people politely ask, “and what do you do, fiona?” and i can hold my head up high and smile and say “embroidered zombies.”
one of my favourite projects at the end of the year, was this set of 3 embroidered sketchbooks, commissioned by kerry for her friends – they’re all frequent visitors on my facebook page so it involved lots of sneaky and managing to keep my big mouth SHUT.
to say thankyou for sticking with fiona t., for your support and for buying stuff, (also, like a little bribe to make you stay) here is a
the prize is that i’ll make the winner something nice. whatever they want**
(**DISCLAIMER: to keep it within the realms of reasonable & possible, it will be something very much like that ^ )
to enter: what was your highlight of 2013?
mine was our family holiday with mostly-recovered anakin dog, and getting sunburnt (!) in the north sea (!!) in late september (!!!)
the winner will probably be chosen at random by anakin.
competition closes on saturday the 11th of january at 12 noon.
i’ll post the winners name here, and be in touch shortly afterwards so we can discuss your prize.
thanks again, and good luck!
in my absence since my last post(s), i’ve just been doing a lot of mind-blogging.
i want to write stuff – but i haven’t had time or i’ve been too tired ‘n headachey to sit here – so i “write” in my head while i’m doing busy work, and i frequently look at things and imagine that i’d take pictures (if i had my camera to hand) and write about that stuff too.
it’s been a busy few months. especially inside of my brain.
but now i’ve reached a point where i feel like i can’t start 2014 properly until i’ve tidied up from 2013. so here:
(***and so that i can elicit maximum sympathy, it’s important for you to remember that all of these things were going on at the same time)
1. i was determined to stop sewing-work on november 1st so i’d have plenty of leisurely time to complete all of the other things i had to do… but as soon as i’d packed my machines away, i had loads of new ideas.
and with so many other things to avoid…
… i kept working & didn’t hang up my sewing hands until december 18th.
2. one of my very BFFs was in the UK for a couple of months so we wanted to squeeze in as much time together as we could *tick*
tea, chat, reminisces, films, late nights, lolz, wine, pub meals, belper’s winter food fair, more pub… *tick tick tick*
3. i seem to have contracted (crazy/senile/deaf/needy)collie-induced insomnia <– i feel qualified to make that medical diagnosis having watched seasons 1 – 8 of House, MD in 6 short weeks.
after enduring months & months of 2-hour bursts of sleeps i’m awfully tired and not always in the sunniest of moods (haha).
we’re still best pals though – she’s absolutely my favourite person ever :)
4. diy stuff. the main event. the end-of-year thing i’d been avoiding most.
after looking at this dusty, rusty monstrosity for 5+ years we could finally afford to replace it.
i’ve been tripping over that stupid hearth & looking at its stupid, ugly (badly fitted) broken tiles EVERY DAY.
hoovering up falling soot & Bits from the badly fitted fitted flue EVERY WEEK.
wet dusting each dimpled surface and stupid claw foot (erm.. LESS OFTEN) to keep the dust allergy at bay.
scowling at the maroon lead-painted patchwork of… of…? i don’t even know what the fuck was going on at the back.
and spiders! so many spiders in all of the rough and the holes.
the whole fireular area has been offending my eyes daily for the last 5 years AND WE COULDNT EVEN USE THE FIRE.
but then there’s awkward bits and hurty wrists and hammer-smashed knuckles and terrified collie and so much dust and then clean up. and then more clean up. and then getting everything bagged up & outside. and practising pathetic-face so the man delivering the skip takes pity on you…
we spent daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays brick cleanering & scrubbering (the original brickwork was in a very bad state so it was very much an exercise in turd-polishin’).
and then more days cleaning & scrubbering and filling holes and repointing brickwork until we were ready for the professionals…
in 5 days time i’m hanging up my sewing hands for the year, packing up mah precious stuffs, and putting on my hardhat. it’s time to tend to my tumble down house & get on with the building works.
but before i start
moaning blogging about DIY hardships again, i thought i’d post about my last sewing project of 2013 – festive christmas elves :)
(***this is not any kind of “how to” – please do not copy and PLEASE do not pin any of my photos onto effing pinterest. thanking you.)
when i was a kid… at christmas, we had these slightly cool / slightly creepy christmas elf decorations of mom’s that came out every year. (i think they were from germany from when she was a kid… mom? and pictures?)
anyway, my half-remembered mind-picture of them was my sort-of inspiration for these…
i knew before i started them, that they’d be my last project of the year, so it was a conscious decision to build them really, reeeeeally slowly and add all the teeny tiny details that make them so fun (for me to make).
instead of worrying that at 23746368576587 hours they weren’t really economically viable.
(although, tbf, i was also finishing off other projects during this time) = supernatural, season 5
(it’s hard to believe how much polyester fluff fits inside such a tiny creature!)
knitting & stitching.
once i’d made up the hat pattern, they were kind of addictive to knit – they looked so pretty in a heap :) i tend to hoard wool, so i had plenty to choose from – i think the teal ones were my favourite, a super luxurious merino / cashmere blend.
i made far more than i’d need = grimm, season 2
there’s quite the sad little pile of unfinished rejects that didn’t make the ocd-cut
i’d hoped to watch supernatural seasons 7 & 8 too… i wonder if i should make a few more elves before ripping out the fireplace?
i’d been tinkering with a few ideas (i hope i have time to develop some of the others… by christmas 2016 maybe?) but i went with snowmen. in truth, mainly because i wanted to knit some cosy miniature hats and scarves for them :)
i don’t draw much anymore, so my sketchbooking is really basic, and i’m always thinking ahead to what i can realistically do & within a certain time frame. (i’d like to work with real carrots & weave my own fabric from unicorn fur for eg, but things need to be affordable at the end. and not be made out of rotten vegetables i suppose.)
as soon as i’ve sketched a vague idea, i like to just jump straight in and make the thing,
simplifying or adding detail, making notes and adjustments as it develops.
… the problem with
being impatient like this starting without a proper, fully tweaked pattern, is that if it doesn’t work first time all that labour intensive applique & embroidery time is wasted. sometimes i’m lucky… sometimes not.
this is the unpredictable part of handmade that i both love and hate – even when i think i have it “just right”, i never know what’ll apear when i turn ’em.
after knitting 78346535674378563478 teeny tiny hats and scarves, each one was carefully handwashed (i do wonder what the neighbours think about my washing line) so they don’t smell of apples.
and then the best bit: dressing my little zombie snowmen up in their winter outfits :)
very limited stock available here (they’re £28 + £3 p&p for a set of 3), but for now…
*** GIVEAWAY ***
so, it would appear that i never grew out of playing dress-up with my dolls.
i also still love colouring in and cartwheels.
what childhood thing do you still love to do? or wish you could still play or do?
don’t be embarrassed, it’ll just be between us – no one else will know, honest.
the winner will probably be chosen at random by a senile border collie.
competition closes on friday, 18th october at 12 noon.
and i’ll announce the winner right here, as soon as possible after the draw.
thanks and good luck!
i wasn’t sure we’d manage a holiday due to anakin’s continuing broken.
plus, the car is also continuing broken, so it was all a bit touch and go… but we made it!
we *aaaalways* have a good soundtrack for our roadtrips – it’s part of The Thing – but this time we couldn’t listen to anything apart from what is that funny noise? or is that a bit of car falling off? and for some terrible, terrible reason the only song my brain was letting me know all the words to, was ‘true’ by spandau ballet (wtf??! I MEAN WTF??!!!).
so i sang that for 4 hours (!)
and took photos of famous landmarks.
and huh huh huh hu-uh huh
i know this much is true.
huh huh huh hu-uh huh i know this. much is. true.
it was a long & painful drive for Husband and anakin :)
“hey, anakin! where are the guys? i’m not sure we’ll find them in this crowd…”
“oh wait, there they all are.”
the anakin dog was remarkable. she’s very tired, stiff & wibbly now that we’re home, but she wasn’t going to let a silly thing like stroke or arthritis ruin her holiday – she managed plenty of digging, splashing about in rockpools, clambering over rocks (sort of), running (a little bit) and walking (miles!)
i spent an awful lot of time
letting my obsessive nature run wild helping my sister collect perfect rocks for her work, and building little stonehenges.
part 2 – my birthday week! yay! (*contains more moaning)
while the all-consuming anakin thing was ongoing, august continued to race by. suddenly it was my birthday.
ani was much better by then, but loudly unhappy about being shut downstairs alone. i’m not a good sleeper at the best of times, so by then i was achieving 3 hour bursts of zzz & hadn’t left the house in weeks. i was also severely good humour deprived.
for my birthday treat mum & dad were coming to visit – the plan being to break the monotony of my
pyjama dog carer days weeks… but
luckily, despite my fever, i had the good sense to warn my (en route) parents of contagion danger.
or i would have, if i could’ve gotten my stupid phone to work.
i was thoroughly spoilt by family, real life friends, internet friends … internet friends who’ve become real life friends … customers who’ve become internet friends who’ve … just so much spoiled. and all week long :)
anakin approves. (**for them’s that’s asking… metal sheep is from here sundial style )
Husband had ordered me some beautiful ceramic pieces from one of my new favourites, camila prada. but he knew they weren’t going to arrive in time, so one of his work colleagues made this to tide me over… *snorrrrrrrrrk*
one of the best bits about Birthday Week, was finally leaving the house. even if i was dosed up, mildly infectious and had a box of tissues in my handbag. we went to a local pub for a lovely lunch (with fruit juice. meh) followed by – my favourite – tiramasu. i couldn’t taste ever so well, but the textures were lovely!
nipped in to buttons & bows for a fabric fix on the way home and…
(well, as of now, i have a few pieces in there. i’m pretty much done with stocking real life shops, but this is different – no faff, just a few things made with fabrics bought from her shop, and it’s so very, very local :) )
meanwhile, dad and Husband had walked on ahead to see how anakin’d fared during her first Home Alone.
all was well! the dog that could not walk had leapt onto the couch, rooted around under the cushions, become entangled in my knitting, leapt off the couch, run around the room a bit… i wish they’d taken a photo of the devastation.
ah well, the big shredded hole in my new scarf will always remind me of Birthday 2013 :)
she does seem to like my NOT FOR DOGS knitted stuff.