73. the one with the fancy zombie – giveaway winner

first, right, can i just say thankyou SO much to everyone who entered – you’re all such good sports to reveal your dirty secrets here on the interwebs :)

i didn’t do this in any scientific way – such as counting or graphs – but it appears that the most popular celebrity crushees are barnyard cucumberpatch off of sherlock, and hans gruber off of harry potter.

hans gruber

^ dreamy <3

you lot are weird. but i’m very happy about that :)

for the draw, i wrote out everyone’s names and put them in a fancy bowl

(i ran out of same-coloured paper, but don’t worry – helper dog is both colour blind and unable to read.)


she eventually picked a winner (and by that i mean; she eventually got a bit of paper stuck to her nose. she’s really not very good at this anymore.)



the winner of the fancy pants zombie lady is…  JELLYBEANJEWELLERY

she chose jensen ackles as her no.1 crush.
(anyone who’s been reading my blog since december 13th will know jensen – as dean winchester off of supernatural – is in my top 5 obsessions. but that is PURELY COINCIDENTAL!)

well done – i’ll contact you by email soon :)
and thanks again to everyone else for such a great response, and for all the LOLs here & over on facebook!


yes thankyou too, anakin.


72. the one with the fancy zombies – giveaway now CLOSED

after a busy couple of weeks, i took a few days “off” to work on something new i’ve been wanting to get to for ages.
since march, in fact. when my sister, little black heart, had given me a new drawing to embroider.
i’d also been hoarding some beautiful hand dyed silks that caroline rose art had given me a couple of years ago, that i’d been saving for “something special”.

it may’ve taken me years months to get started on this, but once i did, i let my obsessive nature take over and spent all weekend sewing *bliss*

zombie lady purple
(embroidered canvas available here )

it’s been lovely working with silk for a change – it’s given the zombies dresses a gorgeous sheen – and i love the subtle variations in colour of caroline’s hand dyed fabric.

zombie lady pink

( 5 x 5″ canvas SOLD here )

the colour palette of the fabrics is quite muted, so for a change i used grey cotton to embroider the detail – i think it’s given them a lovely corpse-like pallor :)

zombie lady blue purple
(similar 5″ embroidered hoop available here)

and i enjoyed having a tinker with various sizes, formats & colour combinations

fancy zombies

another happy-making thing that occurred last week, was on facebook

so to say thankyou to my loyal customers and facebook likerers, i made this fancy zombie in a hoop just for you.
well, for one of you.

zombie lady blue

*** GIVEAWAY ***
now, i’ve just been so busy lately, i’ve been neglecting my tom hardy tumblr-stalkering obsession. to be in with a chance of winning this lovely zombie lady, just tell me, who is your secret celebrity crush?
don’t be embarrassed, it’ll just be between us – no one else will know, honest.

the winner will probably be chosen at random by my canine daughter, anakin.
competition closes on sunday the 23rd of june at 12 noon.
and i’ll announce the winner right here next monday morning.

thanks and good luck!

71. the one with the blood test

for someone who spends their days embroidering and applique-ing bloodspatter, i’m awfully squeamish. but then, red french knots are very different to the real thing.

i had to go for a blood test yesterday (i actually had to go a while back, but have been successfully putting it off for years days). for Normal People, it’s probably just a routine thing that they can just do, but for me it became A Thing.
a thing that involved Husband taking time off work, so that he could wake me up early (obviously i barely slept the night before), make sure i got washed & dressed (clean asylum hair, proper day clothes, underwear, shoes), and take me there in the car.
and come in with me. and show me how to take a ticket. and where i should stand. and where i would go when my number was called. and confirm that 60 still came after 59.

the waiting room was packed, mostly with over-70s, so i whispered to Husband that we should stand near the back so that they could take the chairs – even though I COULD BARELY STAND on my trembling jelly legs.

“oh fuck, Husband. *dramatic sigh* this is like my WORST THING”
“being Outside, do you mean?”
“well i actually meant Waiting, hospital, blood & needles.. but yeah”

they finally started calling people in.
Husband: “are you okay?” *sympathetic*
me: “gawwwd, imagine if the apocalypse happened right now… this would be the group of survivors we’d be lumbered with. we’re the youngest ones here! we’d have to be the ones who do all the stuff. that’s so too much pressure and responsibility for me to deal with right now”

numbers of doom

by now i was shaking (hands and legs) and sweating and my mouth was all dry and my heart was pounding, and even though my feet were carrying me down the corridor to the room marked BLOOD, the voices in my head were screeching “it’s not too late! you could still make a run for it!”

here is a photo (*artists impression) of me sitting in a comfortable chair, looking out of a large picture window at the hedgerows, trees and rolling green hills of the beautiful derbyshire countryside.blood test

also pictured, my right arm and what may or may not have been occurring BECAUSE I DID NOT LOOK.

after my traumatical surgical procedure, Husband took me home – via the chocolate eclairs aisle at morrisons – and settled me on the couch with a big mug of sweet tea.

even though i DID NOT LOOK, all afternoon, i kept reliving the moment and shuddering and whimpering and being pathetic.
at bedtime, Husband had to remove the wrapper for me because i glimpsed a smear of dried blood on my arm and the cotton wool was STUCK.
Husband: “let’s be honest, ‘zombie apocalypse survivor’ seems unlikely at times like these”

i still haven’t looked.

on the bright side,
1. i know i’ll never take up heroin as a hobby
2. i didn’t have a panic attack so my medication must be working


70. the one with the patio

i wasn’t going to write about this yet. i wanted to wait until i could go:

“here is the before picture” (arrow to show vague patio-ular area)

and “TA-DAAA! here is the after picture”
< which would’ve gone here >
but alas, the only things that’re Completely Finished, are my lower back and shoulders.

so since i’m having an enforced rest day today, i will show a bunch of half arsed, half finished things instead.

back in 2007, before we’d even moved in here, we spent every weekend attempting to clear the extreme-overgrown garden.
the little patio area at the end of the kitchen (which, back then, was just a coal shed) ended up looking a bit like this.
good job, guys!

and then apart from mixing plaster there, mowing the crack weeds, dumping crap, tripping on uneven paving slabs and very, very occasional sitting, we ignored it.
until friday.

friday patio

look, here’s our old friend from last weekend, the lol-wall
lol wall

on saturday, we treated ourselves to a skip.
the only access to our garden is through the house, so to clear all of that concrete, we had to smash it up and carry it through the lounge *sad face* one heavy load at a time.

saturday patio

i say “we”, but i mean Husband, obviously. i tinkered around the edges, digging up root systems and destroying ant nests and updating my facebook, while he did all of the hefty smashing and all of the heavy lifting.

sunday was more my thing. after we’d levelled (well, kinda.. ) the ground and put down 364878647367 layers of weed suppressant, i got to start on the good stuff. laying edging pavers is actually a job i really enjoy (it’s probably an ocd thing).

diy pyjamas

why yes, i am wearing pyjama pants and a bra. it’s the comfiest outfit for crawling around on your knees whilst working in hot weather.
(of course, the proper grown up, perfumey lady from next door picked that moment to pop round and see how we were getting on, which was only mildly humiliating)

by sunday evening we’d got a fair bit done. it’s probably a good thing that we ran out of supplies or we would’ve just kept working…
saturday gravel

i really meant to take a day off yesterday, but it seemed a shame to waste good weather… so i accidently sanded the slime off the fence and gave that a couple of coats of paint (i got bored after 2 panels though). and then i accidently started painting the chairs (i got a dehydration migraine after half of one though).

and today i’m too hurty to move, so TA-DAAAA! i present just half of all of the things!
glorious is glorious

i really do need to get on and finish it though – it appears that my edging pavers have already passed their use-by date :/

expired brick