69. the one with the lol-wall

there is a reason i am a freestyle embroiderererrerr and not a freestyle brick layer.

dad, please look away now
(i know, okay? everything.)

lol wall 02

i do actually know enough about brick laying to know that, apart from the fact my wall contains
1. bricks, and
2. mortar
everything else is wrong.

i feel like i should explain myself, but i’m not going to.
let’s just enjoy it for what it is.

lol wall 01 

my favourite part is this hump on the right ^

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68. the one where i air my dirty laundry in public

well, not my dirty laundry. anakin’s.
and it is clean(ish) laundry.

we’ve had three (3) sunny days in a row (!!!!!!!!!!!) so i’ve been washing all of the things – today was the turn of anakin’s stuff.

as anyone with a border collie will know, they have quite an impressive vocabulary, so it’s quite easy to set them tasks and ask for specific stuff (as long as you have a pocket full of biscuits).
after she’d brought me all of her bedding (hey, 2 flight of stairs with a duvet in your mouth is no mean feat for an eldery, arthritic collie!) i requested some of her soft toys by name, which she grudgingly dumped in the washing basket..

anakin

here she is guarding the washing line until they become Ready.

i always wonder what the neighbours / helicopters / hot air balloonists / spy satellites think when they see what’s on my washing line :/
i hope they aren’t judging me for being a bad mom.

dog toys
l to r: dude the chick, woofy the dog, quacky the duck, dragon, vladimeerkat

anakin & direwolf

“but direwolf you cannot haz”

67. the one with my routine

when Husband was off work for a couple of days, i realised how much i cannot function if i don’t stick to my normal work day routine.

i don’t work every day (though usually i do. just because i love it, plus it makes the voices in my head shut up), and sometimes i work on a weekend day (and pretend i’ll take a day off in lieu during the week).
it doesn’t bother me which days i work, but if the plan for that day is sewing then sewing is what i have to do.

i know i’m obsessive, but my day literally falls apart if i can’t do what i want follow my usual schedule.

working from home requires structure & discipline, and it’s very glamorous so i thought i’d tell you all about my day(s).

1. no matter what time i set my alarm clock, anakin will wake me up an hour earlier than that.
alarm clock

by going, “mmmmmMMMMMMmmmmmmm” whilst leering over me.
“5 more minutes, collie dog!” buys me 5 more minutes, but then it’s a more persistent
“mmMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm-RAH!” and she stands over me, pawing at my face.

time to get up.

2. i boil the computer & the kettle on my way out for a ciggie, and then settle down with tea to do admin things, such as facebook and stalking.

admin

i also try to answer messages, emails & address labels for orders that’ve come in overnight but it goes various amounts of badly depending on how sleepy i am.

3. after i’m washed ‘n dressed (i use the term ‘dressed’ very loosely – it’s a version of pyjamas but with a bra) housework is next.
yesterday i accidently left out the bra part, and *for shame* i bumped into my neighbour while i was in the front garden – she was all perfumey and dressed up proper, and i was asylum hair, sock-ed feet, fag in mouth, dumping an armful of beer bottles into the recycling bin.
i will try harder to remember about a bra in future.

4. coffee time!
this is the best bit of the day – entering my beautiful, clean, well ordered workspace and figuring out what i’m going to make that day.

work

at this point it’s not even lunch time so i know i have many wonderful uninterrupted sewing hours of creativity ahead of me and…

“mmmmMMMMMMMMMRAH! rrRRRRAH!”
“what’s up, anakin?”

*go back downstairs*

she’s alerting me to the fact the washing machine cycle’s finished and it’s time to hang stuff out on the line. (she wouldn’t actually care, except she gets to carry the peg bag out for me which means a REWARD)

housework
helper collie / anticipation of biscuits.

5. i finally get to start work.
sewing bums

i had some zombies that just needed sewing, turning, stuffing & stitching so i thought i’d get them finished off first. stuffing & handstitching is good on the days when i’m enjoying whatever dvd series i’m currently working through. it’s the gilmore girls at the moment.

the last 2 episodes of season 3 look like this
zombies

miniature zombies are slow going but satisf…

“mmmmMMMMMMMMMRAH! rrRRRRAH!
mmmmMMMMMMMMMRAH! mmmmMMMMMMMMMRAH! rrRRRRAH!”
lunchtime.

6. i usually work through lunch, catching up on more of my very important small business related stuff
more admin

7. and then it’s back to the gilmore girls work until Husband comes home.
yesterday, i spent all afternoon cutting out hundreds of body parts for future zombies, but i overdid it, kinda.

11

once i’ve told Husband about my day, i usually go back up and do a bit more work, or important computer things, but yesterday, too much tiny & too much hunched over = migraine. so i stopped work early and we watched tom hardy films until bedtime.

normally, every day is similar to that ^
but today i slept until 10 and i’ve done nothing at all – i didn’t even bother getting dressed – Husband is due in from work, so i’d better go and select a tom hardy dvd for us to watch this evening. structure & discipline.
^ *achievement*

66. the one with the bathroom… part whatever

this is a photo of our bathroom from when we first moved into the cottage in 2007.
2007
classy.

in january 2008, we made it nice but it soon became ruined by various problems that we only identified after living here a while. none of it was a priority, though.
not even when the roof leaked and the ceiling collapsed.

but suffering through arctic times, and spending a small fortune on antibiotics this winter has now made it a priority.

goodbye, rest of ceiling!
bath shit

goodbye, mouse shit!
mouse shit

*not shown*  goodbye tiny, mummified mouse corpse

goodbye, dust allergy & chronic sinusitis!
bath soot

hello, 3 days of washing & cleaning & hoovering & steamer-ing the f*** out of everything
bathroom after

^ this is like the “after” photo to compare with the 2007 “before” picture :)

while i was rearranging the kitchen cupboards today *cleaning-procrastination* i found some out of date uht milk that i bought for one of the apocalypses a few years ago.
out of date
i almost threw it away, thinking how Mom would be so proud if i did.

but then i thought about how, after an apocalypse, i will probably be grateful for any milk in my tea. even out of date morrisons value uht milk.
so i dusted it off and put it back.

65. the one where belper explodes

drama!

i was just taking some photos of my work at the upstairs window – wondering about the irritating “popping” sounds i could hear – and when i looked up (to see why it’d suddenly gone so dark) the sky was BLACK!
i was hearing EXPLOSIONS!

belper explosion fb

belper explosion 01belper explosion 02

here follows some very lazy blogging of what unfolded (kinda)

belper explosion fb 2

belper explosion fb 3

at this point, everywhere just stank of smoke. like burning tyres. the explosions had stopped, and all i could hear was fire engines.. and the police helicopter overhead SHOUTING AT US to STAY INDOORS!

belper explosion fb 4

it was not the apocalypse :(
it was the old thorntons factory exploding and burning, covering the town in asbestos-y soot (“soot the size of tennis balls” says Husband <– i sent him out to find out what was going on)

belper explosion fb 5

i sent my pictures in (sans watermark)

derby telegraph

there was a lovely afternoon occurring behind all that smoke
belper explosion 03

and then

belper explosion fb 6

while all this was going on, i was editing the other photos i’d taken, listing items in my shop, and keeping up with the chat on my other facebook page.
summer is coming

you’d never have guessed all this was going on – i’m, like, such a professional.

(the for true facts are here on the derby telegraph website,
and here on the itv website)

64. the one where i don’t deliver

when i woke up today, it was glorious!

blue

the perfect day for a drive out into the peak district.

i don’t normally sell my work in ‘real life’ shops, but i made an exception for E. who contacted me about her new business venture – she was opening a shop selling handmade items in eyam in the beautiful peak district.
(eyam is known as “the plague village” – how could i resist? :D)

we’ve been email-chattering over the past couple of months while she was setting up – she finally opened last week – and i’ve spent the last few weeks working on a little collection of embroidered stuff to stock with her.

green

today, Husband and i were going to drive out there, meet E. in person, hand deliver my stuff, enjoy the sunshine and the countryside and…

…and wouldn’t that be a lovely thing to blog about instead of YET MORE FAILS?

but of course, everyone else had noticed it was glorious today too.

a to b should have taken us about an hour…eyam

but everyone else IN THE WHOLE WORLD thought it’d be a great day to drive up the A6. in cars, on motorbikes, with caravans…

so we sat here for a while. a long while.
stationary

like, literally no driving at all.

and then!oil

BEEP BEEP!   BEEP BEEP! hello, i am your oil light! i am BEEP BEEPing frantically and flashing RED at you to alert you to potential DANGER!”

***AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER (really! i’m not saying that for dramatic effect!)***
“hello i am your HOT ENGINE and i’m really starting to SMELL!”

“hello i am the jamf***ingpacked A6 and you have nowhere to go”

BEEP BEEP!   BEEP BEEP! hello, i am your oil light! i am BEEP BEEPing frantically and flashing RED at you to alert you to potential DANGER!”

“hello i am your brain and i’m going to make a PANIC ATTACK occur aaaaany minute now”

belper

“can we just u-turn around and go home now, Husband?”
yes we can.

blossom

doesn’t the cherry blossom look beautiful today?