59. the one with the tables

“dear all of the shops,
where is the tables that are just the right amount of high and with shelves exactly where i want them? the ones that’re simple, practical, inexpensive and made from untreated pine so i can decorate them how i want?”

“dad? could you…”

last week, my order was complete and ready to collect :)
console unpainted

^ a little console table for by the front door, for the phone and other crap.
exactly the right amount of high and the correct amount of wide to fit between the window & door. the top shelf is deep enough to fit 2x wellknownswedishretailer wicker baskets, and the bottom shelf is high enough off the floor that i can hoover under it (dog fur and spider webs, i predict) without moving stuff.

and a coffee table…
pine coffee table

^ again, the right amount of high and perfect for ease of under-hooverability, and the right amount of small (yet plenty big enough) to be proportionate in my little house.

(the TooBig wellknownswedishretailer coffee table we brought with us from the last house caused no end of shin injuries & stubbed toes as we tried to squeeze between it and the hearth. also, the hot from the fire kept melting the glued together joints…)

oh, did i mention how tiny our house is? this makes it really awkward when trying to do anything.
such as the painting of furniture for eg.
border collies also make things really awkward if you’re trying to do stuff.

dog fur varnish

luckily the beginning of the week was warm(ish) and most importantly NOT RAINING, so i took advantage of the Outside to apply undercoat, sand both pieces down, and woodstain the tops.
i daydream-thought i could watch romcoms for the rest of the week whilst painting, but after kneeling on damp, cold tiles for a couple of hours i decided Y / N.
also, picking dog fur out of wet varnish is faff.

so for the actual painting days, i simply shoehorned myself down the left side of the TooBig kitchen table by climbing onto a chair and dropping down behind the radiator kinda)  or stood on chairs to reach. fiona is not the right amount of tall, nor the right amount of flexible anymore.painting

by today though, everything was complete! *happy*
so i spent most of the day sorting out all of the crap (deckchairs / titanic. i have simply dumped everything in the kitchen) and cleaning all of the things before i put the NEW STUFF in place.
it’s almost like a normal person house!!!!!!!

coffee table

(except for the fact it’s still 87% building site)

console table

please to ignore the mould, the rotten door, the damp floors & plaster-falling-off-walls. apart from that though, like a normal person house!!!!!!!!

** hand made furniture by dad @ jft carpentry


19 thoughts on “59. the one with the tables

  1. Made me chuckle, lovely furniture & your place looks wonderful, just the right amount of everything….. Even the mould! I have that to ; )

  2. No – rotten doors (we have matching windows), mould – yes lots of that, floors cracking up, blown plaster, rendering removing itself from any wall contact – and spiders, lots of spiders and webs – yep, that’s normal!!!! Good job on the tables – you and dad – they look great. We just ordered 15 windows and a door – not straightforward – our house used to be a shop so our living room windows are a little larger than the average!!! Anyway – what’s normal?!?! X

    • oh! you guys have *no* idea how reassuring it is to read that other people don’t live in pristine, ‘finished’ houses either. and that you have the same expense and FAFF as we do!
      i thought it was just me (and my parents)(and my sister) that lived in never ending projects.

      ps, i can’t afford my 1 (one) non standard door so i’m feeling a bit sick inside for you, elaine! x

  3. Yay! We are the NotNormalHousePeople!! We are on the hunt for a desk/table just the right amount of high and wide for a space in Big J’s bedroom for him to do his homework/make Lego models/leave his tat everywhere. If it cannot be found we might have to ask your Dad!

    • i’m so happy we’re like an actual secret club of house fail! :)

      what’re you like at rough sketches and precise measurements? i’ll lend you my dad if you need him – get in quick though, he thinks he’s finished at my house now, but i’m planning fitted cupboards in the bathroom…

  4. Please may I be admitted to club of house fail. As proof, I have a red lounge crapet.

    (I meant carpet, but crapet seems more honest)

    • you’re about to inherit my cast-off tables that i bought off ebay – of COURSE you’re in house fail club!!!
      ps, congratulations on your new home and your amazing scarlet crapet! <3

  5. can i join the crapet club? i mean i assume i’m already in the shitty house club, obvs. but i quite like the idea of being in an off shoot club for people with crapets.
    linda dude: TURQUOISE, i ask you! :o

  6. Oh, oh! *waves hand excitedly* if you’re talking crapet league tables, where would i come with The Pink Thing in the study? It’s SO bad i’ve had to put it at the top of my bucket list……. :(

  7. Does my accidental indoor swimming pool gain me entry to the very exclusive house-fail club? Or my pristine view of next doors garden now my fence fell down?

    • welcome! welcome to the club!
      accidental indoor swimming pools account for some of my favourite fails :)

      i’m still working up the nerve to write about my latest ceiling collapse, if it makes you feel any better? ( as if that ^ should even be “a thing”. just “the latest”, in a long string of falling ceilings…)

    • it will be my absolute pleasure to sick up a bit more gloom & misery upon the internet :)
      probably tomorrow morning when my eyes are not so puffy from all of the wailing and crying *self pity*

      • But you’ve still managed to produce such a huge array of fantabulously brilliant work, despite weird winter weather and house jip. Well done you!

      • thanks theothermrst. :)

        and the thing i’m most proud of is that i got washed & dressed every day!

        almost every day.

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