35. the one with the zombie rabbits (& a giveaway)(& winner)

the other week, when i was “resting my hands”, i made a start on a new zombies project.

in my mind, this doesn’t count as “working” because i wasn’t supposed to be making specific things for my shop or completing custom orders.
i wasn’t supposed to be doing anything at all – which is the very best time to play with something new :)

(ps, i don’t want to sound pretentious about it? but i think of them as 3d textile sketches rather than some kind of doll).

i had a stack of gorgeous new fabrics, in more muted colours than the summery brights i’ve been using recently. my brain: “they’d be PERFECT for pretty straightjackets!”

i made every one completely unique with different fabric choices, and played around with some of their mouths a bit (because zombies can be scary or happy or cross or sad, right?)

(when there’s no pressure or deadlines) i enjoy anything that’s REALLY fiddly and completely absorbing because i’m a bit special that way. so next i started on zombie rabbits in straightjackets (because that could happen).

and it doesn’t get much more fiddly than 42 tiny rabbit ears <3

the worst thing though, is the moment of truth at the end, when i’m wrestling the little dudes the right way out:

usually i get it right (because getting it wrong is so very very time consuming and tantrum-y), but sometimes…

sometimes i get it so wrong.

oh little guy. WHAT THE F*** HAPPENED TO YOUR EARS??!!

do you think you could offer this super cute fail zombie rabbit in a fancy appliqued straightjacket a kind and loving home space on a shelf or mantlepiece?

if Y, just leave a comment telling me what YOU like to do to relax when you have nothing more important you should be getting on with.

the winner will be chosen at random.
competition closes on wednesday the 5th of september at 12 noon.
i’ll post the winners name here, and be in touch shortly afterwards.

good luck!

***edit (wed. 050912)
WINNER: congratulations ewa evans!

thanks everyone for your brilliant & inspiring comments! :)


34. the one with the four day hangover

subtitle: the one where i give up drinking FOREVER.

first, right, can i just say that
1. i’m really not much of a drinker
2. i don’t think getting drunk is cool
but 3. accidents do happen

here is one that happened on saturday:


in my defence, C., one of my oldest and bestest friends was in town, having travelled 3267846283747 hours and 326478623586476 miles JUST TO SEE ME.
in my defence, we hadn’t seen each other for 2 years and would have less than 48 hours together before she flew home.
in my defence, i think we just tried to fit too much of everything into the first THREE HOURS of our time together.

top detective like, i checked facebook the next day to see if i’d said anything stupid.
and yes, stupidity had occurred.

lessons learned:
1. plastic cups are safer than glass
2. when you’ve had too much, it wouldn’t be considered “wasteful” to just pour it away
3. adding a slice of lemon at midnight is not the cure for drunk

and seriously,

^ yes, 8.15am

i’ve been sitting quietly in a darkened room ever since.


… so this is what 40 feels like, eh?


33. the one with my 40th birthday

in my last post? where i said i had olympic fever?
i only meant it figuratively!
but it was like some tragic prophesy, because on sunday night i watched the olympics closing ceremony with a raging temperature and some kind of ebola virus of the ear :(

monday marked the beginning of birthday week, but i spent it waiting for a doctors appointment / feeling sorry for myself.
tuesday, actual birthday, was full of wonderful gifts and unexpected snacks. witness:

since i had no proper plans it did mean i could spend tuesday in bed*

my super awesome family and friends had sent much treasure by mail, so i had a stack (like, an actual tower) of oh so special cards and presents. none of which i can share with internetworld because
1. i would seem really really spoilt
2. it would be unfair to the things i don’t share and i wouldn’t like to hurt those thingses feelings.

ok well i’ll just show you half of one thing

knitted by my clever friend <3

*by “spend tuesday in bed* what i actually meant was; i went to the pub and then lay on the couch for 2 days watching dvds.
if you have to suffer through the entire tedious & forumlaic final season of ’24’ (just for CLOSURE, you understand) it is best viewed whilst delirious.
i also recommend tv bingo(tm).

my sister & i inventioned this game some years back, and there are several versions. this is the ‘omfg check how many times they say situation or nuclear or dirty bomb‘ version.
(after 16 hours) answer: this many

if you are ever unlucky enough to watch-play, you might like to add the words assassin, fuel rods and radiological?

my wild and crazy birthday did not end there! oh no.
yesterday, i met up with my internet crazies ladies for our second “picnic” in as many weeks *airpunch* x2
observe the tea, cake & lolz occurring! :D

l to r: Husband, Odd Sox, Little Black Heart, Caroline Rose Art, Siansburys & Archie’s Beard

before we set off for home last night, there was another birthday surprise waiting in archie’s car – my mum has gifted me her 1960’s laptop (which i’ve coveted for yeeeeeeeears!)

all i need now is working fingers.
and to figure out where the usb from my camera goes.

32. the one where i take it easy for a week

^ haha

after a(nother) unproductive visit with the doctor, i made this (so sad) decision – to give myself a proper rest and see if things improved handularly.

“normally” an entirely justified whole week off would mean i could get back to ‘fall out: new vegas’ – which i abandoned in november 2010 due to sewing commitments – but xbox is poorly too :(

i’m gripped with olympic fever, so i hoped i’d have no problem lying on the couch all week eating thorntons praline melts… but i am CRAP at being idle.
also, when i stop doing things, the crazy starts to creep back inside my head.
(like, late one night, lying in bed, i talked myself into near panic-attack because i was thirsty. normal people would probably drink some water and think “oh well it *is* summer and it’s awfully warm”.
but my brain screams: “you have clearly contracted diabetes!” and my heart starts pounding as i run through a mental checklist of other symptoms i’ve previously googled.
as one example.)

so no sitting around then.

i assigned myself one room per day and attacked each with obsessive, vigorous housewifery – deep cleaning and sorting and organising and washing EVERYTHING.
doggy tumblefur is the worst. especially when it’s caught in sturdy spider webs that’ve fused furniture to walls :/

after i’d done most of the things, it was anakin’s turn to become gleaming, shiny clean,

which is always followed by extreme bathroom cleaning, involving much precarious balancing – in socks – while i wash down the walls.
< no picture for health & safety reasons >

today was last day of my crazy cleaning schedule; just the kitchen to go.
i bet normal people wouldn’t even bother to pull the fridge out to clean?
but insane people might do this:

if you think about it, a fresh coat of paint is far quicker & simpler than cleaning up mosquito corpses or tea splatter.

tea station complete *tick*

due to those aforementioned hand woes, i completed most of this cleaning frenzy left handed.
which left *just* enough power in my right hand to finally finish my embroidery.

it’s good that i did all of the things this week, because next week i’ll be 40 so i don’t imagine i will have this kind of energy again.

31. the one where i just moan about my effing hands

now i’m really not one to complain and moan about stuff but my hands are really starting to piss me off >:(

i learnt my RSI lesson back in 2009 when my dodgy (right) wrist finally gave out during a paint stripping task* and i couldn’t use it for SIX MONTHS.
(*renovating the front door which will ultimately end up in a skip because it, and the frame, are so damp, warped and rotten there’s nothing to be done to save it *wrath*)

my good (left) wrist turned out to be quite competent with a chisel or a paintbrush or whatever, so we’d been getting by okay.
(along with a sturdy wrist brace, anti-inflammatories and not knitting when it’s all too hurty.)
but then good wrist developed a bloody great awkward loud clunking ganglion. *gag*

these super sexy murder compression gloves that mum found in the OLD PEOPLE SHOP would probably have done the trick if i’d started wearing them, like, 5 years ago

but meanwhile, finger woes have occurred:

1. weird lumpy thing. it used to disappear when i smooshed it down with my teeny tiny embroidery scissors… but now it ends up so swollen i cannot even stuff my big sausage finger into my teeny tiny scissors any more  <— this is playing havoc with my cutting & sticking career. and my ability to drive a mouse.
2. *something* is in my fingertip from gravel gardening times back in may? maybe?
home surgery did not help. in fact, it may have made things worse. (do not advise) <— this is playing havoc with my cutting & sticking career. and with my ability to drive a mouse or type stuff.

i’ve been soldiering on, because
1. seriously! IT IS JUST A SORE FINGER!
2. i am going completely m************ insane not being able to make stuff or do anything. but look! ^ LOOK how much cumbersome crap is all round my hands!!!

oh yesterday i actual CRIED in total sandwich frustration because i couldn’t even put margarine on my bread.
i told myself off, proper stern like, “FFS! get a grip, fiona!”
but my self pity was all, “i cannot! *sob* i cannot grip anything!”

i finished what i’d been working on though

except i can no longer hold a sewing needle or make french knots, so i will need to see a doctor before i complete the brain matter and blood spatter

***edit: “day of the thread” is now available here

30. the one with the internet woes

this is not the post i had planned on writing today.
but then, i am not doing the things i had planned on doing today.

on facebook this morning:

but then later, after i got home from posting stuff, ready to be HELPFUL:

then i lost email as well :(

and see, the thing is, i’m not one of those people who has other means of being online.
for eg, this is my “mobile” phone (circa 2004? possibly?) working the only way it is able.

seriously, i don’t even have the knowledge of the available gadgets that make that other stuff occur.
it’s all *brainskim* for me because everything was better in the 80’s

except, now that internets is my sole means of EVERYTHING i was suddenly isolated, helpless, unable to complete the simplest of tasks such as putting my shop into emergency holiday mode or google-stalking jon snow off of game of thrones.
and entirely clueless about what might be going on OUT THERE

in sheer desperation, and utter lol-loneliness, i texted my sister:

in spite of her own gadgetophobe credentials, she replied:

i don’t like this :(
maybe the 80s wasn’t so good after all :(