19. the one with the funeral

despite my awesome actoring skills to the contrary, i haven’t had much enthusiasm for stuff lately. my aunt died last month and i’ve been moodswinging, in misery-limbo, waiting for the funeral to occur.

since it’s now summer, glorious june, i thought it’d be rather lovely to stay with my parents for a whole week. *dream sequence: brilliant sunshiney weather on the east coast = lazy days and long warm evenings…*   <– i packed accordingly.

but the weather’s been vile all week, and with 327453676547 other people staying at mum & dad’s, i didn’t achieve much relaxing. (it takes an awful lot of concentration and effort to fake Being Normal so i find social situations exhausting.)

the funeral was as nice as such things can be. aunty j. was pretty rock ‘n roll so a eulogy featuring cigarettes & vodka, and annie lennox’s ‘thorn in my side’ instead of a hymn, was all very fitting.

we used to stay with aunty j. whenever we visited england on holiday, and when we first emigrated from south africa we lived with her until our tat was shipped here. i think i was about 22 then? anyway, after durban, her not-so-nice village in rural-ish lincolnshire, with its one a-little-bit-rough pub felt awfully remote. in fact, that time would’ve been a complete headf*** if it hadn’t been for her & “uncle” f.
and all of the alcohol.
but after i left for university in ’95, i never went back there.

the wake was held at that very same a-little-bit-rough pub and i was dreading going back there.
i knew it’d bring back so many memories; of aunty j., of past UK holidays & family reunions, of people that’re gone, and of that weird time when i’d just moved to a whole ‘nother continent.

but the sun showed itself that day, and, filled up with brandy instead of with sad, i couldn’t help thinking that aunty j. would’ve got a kick out of seeing her family & her friends drunk & chainsmoking in that carpark :)

i’ve pixellated our happy faces because i don’t know what is proper family photo / funeral etiquette. probably not this?

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13 thoughts on “19. the one with the funeral

  1. I love reading your blogs. I feel like we in the same world sometimes (mentally I mean), I totally get what you’re saying and it makes me feel not so alone with my thoughts. Thank you

    • victoria, it’s *proper* reassuring to know i’m not, like, the only person with a jumbled, messed up, head full of mentals. so it goes both ways :)

  2. Glad I’m not the only one who finds Being Normal exhausting! Sounds like a cool eulogy. Think I might start planning my funeral now so it’s cool ;)

  3. sorry about all the sad stuff, it’s hard being normal for a funeral. But I did get a bit excited about Immingham in the background there. Well I think it’s Immingham, did you stop on the busy main road to get that picture. We always think about stopping at night to get it all lit up.

      • that’s an impressive drive by shot! and I agree about conoco, especially at christmas I’m sure there are extra lights!

      • oh well one wouldn’t want to stop. especially not at night ;)

        hey, i bet it’s an even more impressive & immense illumination show from right up close… not that i’d know. not that ever went drinking down them docks at night.

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